


I'll Be With You In the Dark (Give You Light When You're Afraid)

by siriuslymerlin



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, Isabelle is the queen of highlight/contour, M/M, Major Character Injury, catarina to the rescue, end me, everything's fine tho, like it all works out, serious conversations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-18
Updated: 2016-11-18
Packaged: 2018-08-31 15:08:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8583058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siriuslymerlin/pseuds/siriuslymerlin
Summary: Magnus Bane has never been weak. He’s an all-powerful being, capable of great and mind-blowing feats of magic. He doesn’t need to be carried into his own apartment. And yet, here he is, gathered in Alexander’s arms, protesting weakly. Alec doesn’t bother listening to him, going so far as to hum tunelessly to drown out Magnus’s already too quiet words.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hi friends!   
> I actually have an excuse as to why it's been one million years since the last thing I posted! My editor took approximatley 9348342384273802347 years to edit this thing! BTW this a continuation of one of my earlier fics, Pull My Heart Out My Chest (So You Can See It Too). You might want to read it first, but this can be a standalone!   
> Nevertheless,   
> Enjoy!

Magnus Bane has never been _weak._ He’s an all-powerful being, capable of great and mind-blowing feats of magic. He doesn’t need to be carried into his own apartment. And yet, here he is, gathered in Alexander’s arms, protesting weakly. Alec doesn’t bother listening to him, going so far as to hum tunelessly to drown out Magnus’s already too quiet words.

“Alexander, I let you carry me up four flights of stairs. Put me down, now!” Magnus commands. If he was his right self, Alec would’ve listened immediately, either out of respect and affection for the warlock, or due to the sheer power behind the words.

His words go unheard, and Alec has the audacity to warble some horrible song from decades ago. They make it to the bedroom, where Magnus is manhandled into bed and nearly smothered by the blankets and pillows. Magnus really could have made his own way up here, but Alec seems to like coddling him, for some inane reason.

“You have a terrible singing voice,” Magnus mutters, petulant. At that, Alec cracks, chuckling quietly.

“Sorry, Magnus. I can ask Clary to come serenade you, if you like,” Alec teases. Magnus levels him a stare.

“Don’t you think for one second I won’t take you up on that,” Magnus threatens. Alec really does laugh this time, and it has Magnus fighting down a smile. How is he supposed to be bitter if Alexander’s being cute?

“Where’s that postcard with Catarina’s number on it?” Alec asks. Before Magnus can answer, Alec adds, “Just tell me, I’ll find it. No summoning spells!”

Magnus pouts at him, but gestures to the dresser all the same. Alec rolls his eyes, but gets to work, combing through Magnus’s junk drawers. After a few minutes of looking, accompanied by Alec’s horrific singing, the postcard is recovered.

“I’m going to go call her, you stay right where you are!” Magnus wonders if Alec is aware of how much he sounds like a mother hen. He feels a little guilty, being bitter and annoying towards poor Alexander, but it’s sort of hard to care, feeling as drained as he does. He hates that Alec is here for this, to see him looking weak and pathetic.

Alec’s voice is quiet in the other room, so Magnus strains to hear. It sounds like some sort of argument, which is plausible, considering Catarina doesn’t exactly trust shadowhunters when it comes to warlock welfare. Just as Magnus is contemplating casting a simple sense-enhancement spell, Alec comes back into the bedroom, looking ashen.

“Catarina can’t portal into the city, and none of the other warlocks she’s with can either.” Magnus blanches at that; he knows Catarina’s magical know-how doesn’t extend to portal spells, but it’s very troubling that none of the other warlocks she’s with can either. The new Circle must be blocking magic in the city somehow. It takes something very old and powerful to accomplish a city-wide spell block. Sharp fear slices through his chest.

“Is she alright? Where is she?”

“She’s in Arizona, apparently, helping with disease outbreaks,” Alec explains. “It’s too dangerous for someone to portal her in. Valentine and his men will sense her, and be ready to ambush. She’s coming the mundane way. Flying out on the first plane she can catch.”

Here’s the situation: the actual wound has been mostly taken care of, but he’s expended extraordinary amounts of magic, and unless he gets some sort of magical jumpstart, he’ll drain slowly until there’s no more magic left in him.

Magnus nods in response to Alec’s explanation, mind whirring with possible outcomes.

Option one: Catarina gets here in time, heals him, and everything turns out fine. Magnus figures this is pretty unlikely.

Option two: Magnus creates the healing potion himself, and everything turns out not fine. It might backfire spectacularly, considering healing magic is not his specialty.

Option three: He uses shadowhunter energy to heal himself, draining Alec in the process. Magnus doesn’t even entertain this idea.

Conclusion: he’s going to lose his magic, Valentine will try and take the New York Institute, and Magnus won’t be able to do anything to stop him.

“Magnus?” He realizes, perhaps belatedly, that Alec has been talking, asking questions.

“My apologies, Alexander, but could you repeat that?” He struggles to sit a little, earning a small frown.

“I said, what do we do? To fix you, to replenish your magic, or whatever,” he repeats. Magnus sighs quietly. Alec’s not going to like this.

“Not much we can do, I’m afraid. Just wait Catarina out,” he answers, pushing his covers away, too hot under Alec’s worried stare.

“What? No, we have to do something! What about me? You used my energy before, we can do that now!” Alec offers his hand, looking far too eager for something that could seriously injure him.

“Alexander, I absolutely refuse to use your energy to heal myself. Do you have any idea just how dangerous that is? It would take enormous amounts of magic to pull that off, it would drain you,” Magnus explains, in a tone that leaves no room for argument. Alec looks defiant, and for a second, Magnus is afraid he’ll argue, but he deflates, hanging his head.

“I hate not being able to help you, especially when you got hurt doing something for me,” he mumbles, scrubbing a hand over his scalp.

“Alexander, you don’t owe me a thing. I chose to be there today,” Magnus consoles him. Alec looks up weakly.

“I should have defended you, I should—“

“ _You_ should know that I’m entirely capable in a fight. I’m not a high warlock for nothing, you know,” Magnus reminds him with a wry smile. Alec gives him a little half smile.

“Yeah, Magnus, I know.” There’s something heavy and unspoken in the simple sentence that plugs up Magnus’s throat, like he’s about to cry. It’s not a bad feeling, quite the opposite, but it’s so powerful Magnus has to shy away from it.

“So… I’ve been away all day, I’m sure there’s mail for me. Would you mind fetching it for me, Alexander?” Magnus asks. Alec nods, already moving to get it for him. In this moment of solitude, Magnus takes a moment to collect himself. Oddly, he finds himself thinking about Camille.

Once he thinks of her, his treacherous brain refuses to let him think of anything else. Camille never looked at him like Alec did, like he was some sort of precious thing that needed protecting. Camille always gave him these funny little smiles, like she knew a secret that he didn’t. In the end, Magnus supposed she did.

It doesn’t matter now, not when he has Alexander.

It’s then that Alec comes back, looking a little sheepish.

“I couldn’t find any mail, Magnus, I checked everywhere. Your mailbox is empty too,” he admits, like he’s done something wrong. Magnus wants to scrub that expression away instantly.

“Never mind then, love. Come here, it’s getting colder,” Magnus says, pulling the blanket back to indicate Alec should snuggle up. Alec does, immediately, wrapping his limbs around Magnus and tucking him against his chest.

“Better?” Alec asks, mumbling into Magnus’s hair.

“Much,” he answers, snuggling closer. He actually does feel better; his headache wanes and he feels like if he attempted a simple spell, he wouldn’t drain himself. Magnus takes that as a good sign. Slowly, but surely, his magic is coming back. Of course, it won’t be back soon enough for Magnus to be of any use, but he tries to be optimistic. Instead, he focuses on the shadowhunter he’s resting on. Surprisingly enough, Alec, being a veritable wall of hard muscle, makes a phenomenal pillow. Alec traces out patterns between Magnus’s shoulder blades, lulling him to sleep.

“Why don’t you let me take care of you more often?” Alec asks quietly. There’s too much raw emotion in his voice for Magnus to brush off the question. He pulls himself up to look at Alec.

“You _do_ take care of me,” Magnus assures him, or, at least, he tries to. Alec shakes his head.

“Magnus, there’s a distinct difference in what you do for me and what you let me do for you,” Alec starts.

“Alexander, I’m the high warlock! It’s my job to protect you, and everyone else from people like Valentine. I can’t stand the fact that I might not be able to protect you, especially now. What if Valentine makes another bid for the Institute? What then?” Magnus asks, a little riled up.

“Then we’ll take care of it. It’s my job to protect people too, Magnus. I know you don’t want me getting hurt, but that doesn’t mean you can disregard your safety to look after mine. That’s what you’re trying to do right now,” Alec counters, unreasonably calm. Magnus opens his mouth to respond, but Alec doesn’t let him.

“You know I’m right. You go out of your way to help me, but when I try to do the same for you, you can’t stand it. I want to know why.” There’s a sharpness of Alec’s face that makes Magnus feel pathetically small. It must translate on his face, because Alec’s softens considerably.

“A good relationship isn’t just one person giving everything and not getting anything back. That comes from a highly reputable source,” Alec says, a smile threatening to break through his expression. Magnus snorts.

“What source? Shadowhunter dating 101?” he asks, dripping sass into his voice. Alec grins at him, unfazed.

“Cosmo magazine, speaking through Izzy.” Magnus laughs at that, and breaks into wheezing coughs. Alec rubs his back carefully, waiting for the coughing to subside.

“If Isabelle declares it, it must be true,” he manages, thumping his chest a little. Alec shrugs.

“She’s smarter than she looks,” he answers. Magnus raises an eyebrow.

“Isabelle is perhaps the smartest shadowhunter I’ve ever come across.” It’s Alec’s turn to quirk an eyebrow.

“I’ll pass along the compliment. Back to the original question.” Damn, Magnus had hoped Alec had forgotten.

“Ah, well… that’s just how my previous relationships worked, I suppose,” he muses, settling back against Alec’s chest. It’s much easier to talk to his pecs.

“Like… with Camille?” There’s sharp contempt in Alec’s voice, and Magnus can picture very clearly the way Alec’s face is twisted.

“Camille was a toxic person. She always had been. When I met her, I was so taken that I was blind. I didn’t see how much she was hurting me until she was gone,” Magnus says. It’s hard to get out, but Alec deserves to know.

“Why did you even like her?” Alec demands, a little childishly.

“I…I’m not sure,” Magnus lies. He knows exactly why, and knows the answer will only hurt Alec.

“I can tell when you’re lying.” Damn it. How does Alec do this?

“I wasn’t in a good place then, Alexander, you have to remember that. I felt like everyone I loved would leave me. Camille was, I mean, is, immortal, like I am. It felt right at the time.” Already, Magnus knows this is going to end badly, he can feel it.

“So, what about this?” Alec asks, voice smaller than he’s ever heard it before. Magnus twists up to look at him.

“Alexander, I love you. With every fiber of my being, I love you. All I know is that I don’t want to ever be parted from you,” Magnus tells him. His throat’s coated with raw and thick emotion, but he holds Alec gaze. Still, Alec looks skeptical.

“I’m not going to be the same person I am in twenty years, Magnus. I’m going to look different, I won’t be attractive when I’m old,” Alec says. There’s something to be said about Alec’s bravery, because he doesn’t waver, or cower, from his emotions.

“Alexander, do you think I care about how you look? Do you honestly think I’m that petty and shallow?” he asks, more than a little hurt, tone sharp. Panic creeps into Alec’s face.

“No! Of course not, but think about it, you’ll be young and gorgeous forever, but it’s not like—“

“All I know, Alexander, is that I love you. And that I’ll always love you, unconditionally. I have zero idea how the future will play out, nor do I pretend to, but I know want to spend it with you.” They stare each other down for a few seconds before Alec shoots him one of his signature half-smiles.

“I love you, Magnus. I want to be with you as long as I can,” he says. Magnus leans up to give him a kiss.

“Well! We’re in agreement, then.” The issue is far from resolved, but they love each other. They’ll work through it, hopefully for a long, long time to come.

There’s a banging at the door that startles them both. Alec pulls himself carefully out of bed, and gives Magnus such a sharp look, he doesn’t even bother to follow him. Instead he waits, listening carefully. Apparently, Raphael is here, along with Clary, because he hears him ask where Magnus’s lazy self is, something Clary chides him for.

The group, now including Simon and Izzy, troop into the bedroom, followed by a visibly annoyed Alec.

“I told them you needed rest but they didn’t listen,” he says, glaring at his sister. Izzy pretends not to notice, and instead drapes herself dramatically on the bed next to Magnus.

“Poor Magnus! Are you feeling okay?” she asks, pouting at him. Magnus laughs at her theatrics.

“I’m not dying. I’m simply a little under the weather,” he tells her. “I adore that highlight, by the way, it’s absolutely stunning on you.”  Izzy preens at him.

“Nowhere near as good as it would look on you!”

“I take it the Institute is safe? The Circle attack has been taken care of?” Magnus asks, a little concerned as to who’s defending the place if it’s best warriors are here.

“We took care of it,” Isabelle assures him. “We drove the Circle back, and Raphael and Luke have their vamps and wolves helping to maintain the perimeter. Even still, we still can’t be long. We just wanted to see if you were doing okay.” 

Clary settles on the other side of Magnus, and wraps him in a one-armed hug.

“What can we do to help?” Simon asks, fiddling with a loose thread on his flannel. Raphael shoots the young vampire what he must think is a discrete, loving glance, but Magnus can see right through him. They’re going to have to have a chat.

“Oh, Sherman, that’s kind of you. Isn’t he just so kind, Raphael?” Magnus’s self-control fails and he waggles his eyebrows at the pair of vampires, relishing in Raphael’s blatant embarrassment. Simon stifles a laugh behind his hand.

Before Raphael can chastise him, the doorbell sounds again. Alec scrambles to get it, tripping over a pair of bedazzled jeans. Izzy quirks an eyebrow at Magnus.

“Is that your warlock friend?” she asks.   
“It shouldn’t be, unless she’s gone and done something stupid,” Magnus answers. It’s only been about an hour and a half since Alec called, definitely not enough time.

Sure enough, Alec’s accompanied by Catarina, who heaves a great sigh when she sees him.

“Catarina, while seeing your lovely face always makes my day brighter, I have to ask, how did you get here so fast?” he greets her, quirking an eyebrow at her.

“I took a portal to this little town in upstate New York, then drove up here as fast as I could,” Catarina answers, waving her fingers and running a diagnostic test on Magnus.

“When was the last time you had a valid license?” Magnus asks, but the question goes ignored, save from a quiet snort from Raphael.

“Oh, Magnus! Your magic is dangerously weak! Why didn’t you call me sooner?!” she demands, conjuring up little vials as she speaks.

“I was unconscious,” he deadpans. “There isn’t any chance someone would bring me a martini, is there?” Catarina scoffs at that, and heads over to his kitchen, presumably to brew a healing potion. The two shadowhunters and the vampires take their leave, bidding Magnus luck. Before Raphael can leave, Magnus shoots him a wink, earning a wry look.

Then, it’s just Alec left. He sits, cross legged, at the foot of the bed, hands folded neatly in his lap.

“How long is she going to take?” he asks, pushing his hair back. Magnus takes a moment to think.

“Essentially, she’s making a potion that will slowly augment the magic I have left. It’s rather difficult, and I’ve never made it, so I’m not sure,” he explains, settling back against his pillows. Alec crawls to the top of the bed, and Magnus takes a moment to savor the stretch and contractions of his body as he moves. He settles next to Magnus, pulling him against his chest.

“Will you be okay till then?” The question is punctuated with a sweet kiss against his temple.

“He’ll be fine! So long as he doesn’t exert himself!” Catarina calls. Alec and Magnus look at each other before bursting into barely quiet, barely contained giggling. Magnus sighs, chortling still, and cuddles closer to Alec.

“Sleep, Magnus, you need your rest,” Alec tells him, stroking his back. Suddenly, Magnus is exhausted, and the rhythm lulls him to sleep. The last thing he hears is Alec’s tuneless humming, but it doesn’t even grate on his nerves. Much.

When Magnus wakes, Alec is gone, but the bed is still warm, meaning he can’t have gotten far. Magnus feels better than last night, but he’s still pretty sure he wouldn’t even be able to change the color of his nail polish with a spell. Still, he’s not weak, so he heaves himself out of bed and stumbles to the living room. The skin of his abdomen stretches uncomfortably, bordering on painful. Hopefully, the wound has stopped bleeding.

“Alexander?” he calls, voice rough. Alec pokes his head out of the kitchen, and Magnus has to smile, because he looks positively adorable. There’s a fine white powder coating his hands and cheeks, most likely elderflower, and there’s what looks like salamander bile in his hair.

“Has Catarina recruited you?” he asks, voice a little stronger. The tips of Alec’s ears go red, and he brushes the powder off of his face.

“What are you doing out of bed?” he asks, leaning against the wall.

“You weren’t there when I woke up,” Magnus answers simply. Alec smiles, apologetic, and walks over to kiss Magnus.

“Before this love-fest can take over the apartment,” Catarina interrupts, “The potion is ready.”

Magnus takes the goblet out of her hand, and grimaces when he smells the contents.

“To your good health, Alexander,” he says, before downing it. It burns going down, but fills him with the familiar electric warmth of his magic. Immediately, he feels much better.

“It should take approximately four hours for your magic to return, but I recommend not using it for a few days. And no cheating! Alec has agreed to enforce my rules,” Catarina tells him, gathering her things. “I have to go, but I will be back to check on you later.”

Magnus bids her farewell and a safe journey back before turning to Alec.

“Now, how do you suppose we ought to kill those four hours?” he asks lasciviously. Alec raises his eyebrows at him.

“How about a nap?”

**Author's Note:**

> Alrighty!  
> Tell me what you guys thought, and comments or critiques, or just generally screaming about Malec.   
> As always, come yell at me on tumblr @siriuslymerlin29   
> See you sometime in the foreseeable future!


End file.
